Don't be a D

I wish I could be mean like Robert de Niro

But I’m more like patient zero

I wish I could be cool like James Dean

But I never made the scene

I wish I looked like Marlon Brando

Strutting my stuff on El Grando

I wish I danced like Carry Grant

Then I tried and soon realised I can’t

I wish I could get girls like Brad Pitt

But my face is wrong my patter’s shit

I wish I played songs like Simon & Garfunkel

But strumming my guitar is a whole carbuncle

I wish I was just happy with me

But I’ve been watching too much T.V

So for my final trick

Just Don’t be a Dick