The World's Gone AppSh*t Crazy 5a v6
Lyrics
The World's Gone AppSh*t Crazy
Verse 1
Used to buy a cup of coffee with a dollar and a smile,
Now they point me to a QR code and tell me, "Wait awhile." At
Need an app to park my pickup, one to pay the meter too,
One to prove I own my phone... before they'll let me through.
Want to open up the gate? Better update version three.
Need permission from permission just to let permission be.
Everything my grandpa fixed with nothing but a wrench,
Now requires a username, a password, and consent.
Pre-Chorus
They call it progress, call it smart,
But sometimes smart ain't very smart.
Chorus
The world's gone AppSh*t Crazy!
Tap it, scan it, verify.
Need a code for every doorway,
Need a login just to buy.
Every shortcut's got three extra steps...
The world's gone AppSh*t Crazy!
Crowd Chant
Band: "What's the password?"
Crowd: "I forgot!"
Band: "Reset your password!"
Crowd: "Already got!"
Band: "Check your email!"
Crowd: "Wrong account!"
Band: "Try again!"
Crowd: "I've been locked out!"
Band: "Every shortcut..."
Crowd: "...got three extra steps!"
Band: "One more update..."
Crowd: "...something else resets!"
Band: "Who's in control?"
Crowd: "Not me!"
Everybody:
"The world's gone AppSh*t Crazy!"
(Band laughs. Guitar kicks into Verse 2.)
Verse 2
My thermostats' got feelings, my fridge knows what I eat.
The washing machine sends notifications every week.
My light bulb wants a firmware patch, my mailbox's online,
And my toothbrush keeps reminding me it's "syncing" all the time.
The cashier says, "No cash today."
The waitress says, "Just scan to pay."
The menu vanished overnight...
Guess paper lost another fight.
Pre-Chorus
Convenience was the salesman's pitch...
Funny how convenience switched.
Chorus
The world's gone AppSh*t Crazy!
Everything's a monthly fee.
Rent your movies, rent your music,
Even rent your memory.
You own less with every click...
The world's gone AppSh*t Crazy!
Crowd Chant
Band: "What's the password?"
Crowd: "I forgot!"
Band: "Reset your password!"
Crowd: "Already got!"
Band: "Check your email!"
Crowd: "Wrong account!"
Band: "Try again!"
Crowd: "I've been locked out!"
Band: "Every shortcut..."
Crowd: "...got three extra steps!"
Band: "One more update..."
Crowd: "...something else resets!"
Band: "Who's in control?"
Crowd: "Not me!"
Everybody:
"The world's gone AppSh*t Crazy!"
(Band laughs. Drums build into the bridge.)
Bridge
What happens when the signal's gone?
When batteries die before the dawn?
When one forgotten password means
Your own front door won't let you in?
We've built a world that's fast and slick...
But maybe just a little too quick.
Breakdown
Need an app to board a plane.
Need an app to catch a train.
Need an app to feed the meter.
Need an app to meet the meter reader.
Need an app to find your app...
Now ain't that a load of crap?
Need an app to buy a snack.
Need an app to get it back.
Need an app to call support...
Sorry... you're number forty-four!
Final Chorus
The world's gone AppSh*t Crazy!
Everything's connected now.
Need approval, need encryption,
Need permission somehow.
One more update... one more glitch...
The world's gone AppSh*t Crazy!
Final Crowd Chant
Band: "What's the password?"
Crowd: "I forgot!"
Band: "Who's in control?"
Crowd: "Not me!"
Band: "Every shortcut..."
Crowd: "...got three extra steps!"
Everybody:
"The world's gone AppSh*t Crazy!"
Outro
Bring back keys that fit a lock...
Bring back clocks that simply tick...
Bring back things that simply worked...
Before we're all just...
...one dead battery away from being locked out.